When the Sacred gets Dark and Messy

The Sacred is usually pictured in words and images of pristine beauty. But there is more to it than that.

In my last workshop, I was in a circle of women exploring our inner Priestess. Klara Adalena was guiding us using a story in Clarissa Pinkola Estes PhD’s book “Women who run with wolves”. It was the story of Seal Woman.

And through the work we were doing together over the days, exploring the story, sharing our experiences, I started to connect to a deep loneliness within me.

This loneliness has been with me for as long as I can remember.

But as I’ve worked on this theme through the years, it gradually lost it’s hold on my daily life.

And here I was, right in the middle of it. A very big feeling.

Empty.

Hollow.

Desperate.

I truely connected to the that feeling in my core.

I remembered being 4 years old, at kindergarten, looking at the other kids for clues of what to do, how to behave, feeling misplaced. Now I was fortunate in growing up in a very loving family, and at the surface there was never a ‘reason’ for that strong feeling of not belonging.

But in this space, being held by the women in this circle, I started to realise how the world of water, sisterhood and moon from the story was what I have missed so intensely in my life. I suddenly had the home that I had been homesick for, without ever realising there could be any such thing.

And by connecting to it and it’s message, it gave opportunities for healing, that I will share about in a later post.

Whenever we experience the Sacred Feminine, it happens through our inner experience. We walk the path by going ‘in’. And when we do that, we all encounter ‘stuff’. Stuff that can be very dark and messy. I feel it is our job to allow that stuff to transform into it’s lessons. And with every bit of stuff we transform, we create space for holding the energy of the Sacred Feminine, of Wholeness. And we can radiate even more of it through our lives and that of others.

Some of this stuff we can attend to on our own. But for me, for the deep dark and messy stuff, I rather call in some help. Because knowing that there is somebody with me with the skill to guide me through, helps me to really descend into my darkness.

And surrender.

For life, for love,

Memeka

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