Category Archives: Meditation

A new love affair

I found a new love!

Unexpected, but true.

You see, it often feels there are two ‘me’s. There is the me that is thinking, contemplating, reviewing. And there is the me that just is.

Feelings happen, and these two me’s have a very different way of handling them.

Thinking me uses the feelings as cues for fear, worry, action. The being me knows to stay with the feeling, and meaning might be a result. And action might or might not be needed.

I’ve known for a while that the ‘being me’ is much closer to my core, my soul.

So I have decided it’s time to get out of my way. It is time to love that me completely, setting it center stage.

And it made me burst into this song, out loud, while walking in the forest:

“Only want to be the wind that lifts you high above the ground
Living only to unleash the sacred powers that we’ve found
Only want to breathe your essence, be your comfort, fill with laughter
Every moment that we live from this day on, forever after

I’ll steal your heart and set it free
So free, I’m sure it will astound you
Without my love you’ll never be
In a way, I’ll always find you”

What a beautiful thought, to be the one to set myself free 🙂

And I can just do that.

It reminds me of the Self-marriage, that Dominique Youkhehpaz facilitates. A beautiful ritual to dedicate your life to loving yourself. Just imagine putting as much attention and love towards the relationship with yourself, as you do in the relationship with your significant other.

There is room for me to grow here, this new love is so ready to start blossoming.

A rumble on the hill

This is a rocky road. My circumstances are asking me to make big shifts. Shifts on the inside, and quite possibly shifts on the outside, making difficult decisions.

When I was riding my bike today, it hit me: I want to feel free again!

I find it really hard, to let go of relationships. I will work at them and myself to make them work. My relationships with my company, and the two friends I started this company with, are very dear to me. But in my struggle to get well again, and to get back to work, apparently, I do not feel free anymore.

So something needs to change.

And pondering this while I was walking in my beloved forest, I felt my attention dropping down in my body. Connecting more deeply to myself. Inviting my  Goddess to join me.

I sat down to meditate on the top of a small hill, the sun shining through. Becoming more and more grounded. While I was widening my attention to hear everything there was to hear, I also saw in my mind’s eye, a symbol that came to me before. It feels like a symbol that deeply connects me to Her. And while I was meditating, that symbol grew and encompassed all of me. And right at that moment, the wind grew really strong and I shivered.

And I realised: this is what it is to be a wild woman, true to my nature.. To be fully present and feel the cold, the heat, the fight and the strength of all emotions. To allow myself to live all of this fully..

And the next moment, I was suddenly surrounded by four big black dogs, Great Danes I think. Sitting down, they were as tall as I was. They were being walked by their owners, and must have been curious. They had ran up the hill, and were instantly jumping on me and pushing me.

And I was  very calm and firm, telling them twice ‘No, this is not okay’. And then they ran off again.

I found myself observing this with curiosity. Because I felt calm throughout all of it. Even though they were challenging my boundaries, crossing them, there wasn’t a moment that I feared they would break them, or would be able to hurt me. There wasn’t even a moment I thought it would go on for too long.

It was an amazing experience of being present in myself. Not distracted by fear. No ideas as to what should or shouldn’t happen or should have happened. And the calmness inside me remained all the way through.

Now this is useful new ground! This kind of presence brings unshakable being.

Thank you Goddess, for showing me the way.

And I want more of that, so I’ll continue my practice 🙂

I don’t know what will happen in my relationships, but I know now that I have this ability to be calm and present in times of uproar. That will give me a new perspective all by itself.

The girl and the Lioness

Once upon a time, there was a girl.

She was young, smart and curious, and she was always working out how the world around her worked.

When are people nice?

How do you get people to help you? 

Why are they fighting? 

What do people do to fix things?

Where does my mom store the candy now?

And the more she learned, the more she saw and thought she understood.  Continue reading The girl and the Lioness

Only two more days: DVD on Sacred Initiation

You may have read my post on 11 women that went up the mountain in Crete on their vision quest. They stayed there, alone, for four days and nights, without food or shelter. Seeking to be initiated by the Goddess.

Klara Adalena, the High Priestess who did amazing work to retrieve the ancient initiation rituals, has put together a documentary of last years quest.

I just downloaded it, and will be watching it with much interest.

If you are interested too, then you can have an amazing deal if you decide to buy it before tomorrow evening (Dutch time): it’s now only $3 /€3, as opposed to the still great price of $19/€15.  And she is donating half of revenue to Earthtrust to help save the Dolphins. It’s Dutch spoken with English voice over. You can find it here: http://www.klaraadalena.com/?page_id=2081.

I won’t be using this blog to recommend commercial activities, and I don’t get any commission for mentioning this to you.

I just felt this is an amazing opportunity, and wanted to share it with you.

 

The little voice of intuition

The other day, I was shopping for clothes pins at a general department-kind of store. While I was looking for the pins, my eyes were caught by the dishwasher tablets. This was unusual because:

  1. We usually do a weekly grocery shopping trip, and they would be on the list if we need them.
  2. My love is the one to use the dishwasher tablets, as he is the one to go to bed last.

I found my mind going into: is this a good price? Should I buy some? And then dismissing the thought. Because I it’s just not practical to buy bits of groceries one by one, whenever they happen to catch my attention.  Continue reading The little voice of intuition

Three brains and spirit

Have you heard about this, about how we all have not one, but three brains?

Of course we know about the brain inside our skull, the one that has so much power in our world today. The reign of logic holds strongly over us. Even though that brain also holds the ability to feel, to connect, to learn, to detect danger and act upon it, logic is by far the most revered aspect in our Western society. Continue reading Three brains and spirit