The Pulse of Life

I have been practicing for a while now.

Practicing not to get lost in my thoughts. Practicing to feel my body and stay present with my emotions as well as my thoughts, no matter how boring, scary, beautiful, dull, intriguing, funny the situation.

This practice got me an unexpected side effect. Continue reading The Pulse of Life


Bye bye comfort

Amazing, how every time I have to convince myself.

I can often feel myself longing to be outside in nature.

That is, if I bother to pay attention.

And my mind knows being in nature always makes me feel fulfilled, connected and happy. Really. Always. Soaking in the treas, feeling the Earth, hearing the birds, the wind. Meditating, connecting with Her is so much more powerful here. It reminds me of our true nature.

And yet, so often, ‘I don’t get around to it’. A day goes by, and I haven’t been feeling the wind other than while I’m running some errands. Continue reading Bye bye comfort

Night time

Being chronically ill brings challenges. Most days are okay. And sometimes life brings big challenges.

My colleagues have been very supportive, but there is a time when being ‘partner’ in a firm is no longer an option. And that is a tough fact to swallow. We are still looking for options and solutions, but it is clear things will have to change.

And this really gets to me. This is my ‘first born’. I put my heart and soul into the business we created over the years, and it is beautiful.

One night, when I found myself unable to sleep, feeling raw with an upcoming flu – and lots of emotion. Continue reading Night time

A love taboo

Falling in love is an amazing – let the whole world sing – experience. I always wanted to make it last as long as I could (especially two-way, no complications attractions). The addictive nature of all the hormones, the pure bliss of having been seen by your love takes over everything, and it’s hard not to talk about. Or rather: it’s hard not to shout it out from the rooftops, as your heart keeps singing! Continue reading A love taboo

My Goddess..

Sure.. I am exploring the ‘sacred feminine’ – but what exactly is that?

I have been called by a ‘Goddess’ – but who is she? 

These questions are going around my mind every now and then. Most of the time, I recognise and feel how important it is for me to meditate and drum. To find a way of connecting with that which is so much bigger than me.

Over the past months, I’ve learned new ways to do this, leading to connection and insights. And I’ve noticed the main thing getting in the way: my mind. Once I start thinking, my awareness of my connection with the Divine vanishes easily into the background.

So mostly, I treated those questions of ‘Who is she?’ as ‘stuff my brain comes up with’, trusting my gut instinct on following my path.  But actually, it is a very fair question. It’s just that the answer is not in my mind, it won’t be revealed by logical analysis. Continue reading My Goddess..

Only two more days: DVD on Sacred Initiation

You may have read my post on 11 women that went up the mountain in Crete on their vision quest. They stayed there, alone, for four days and nights, without food or shelter. Seeking to be initiated by the Goddess.

Klara Adalena, the High Priestess who did amazing work to retrieve the ancient initiation rituals, has put together a documentary of last years quest.

I just downloaded it, and will be watching it with much interest.

If you are interested too, then you can have an amazing deal if you decide to buy it before tomorrow evening (Dutch time): it’s now only $3 /€3, as opposed to the still great price of $19/€15.  And she is donating half of revenue to Earthtrust to help save the Dolphins. It’s Dutch spoken with English voice over. You can find it here:

I won’t be using this blog to recommend commercial activities, and I don’t get any commission for mentioning this to you.

I just felt this is an amazing opportunity, and wanted to share it with you.


A Chestnut Lesson

“Look, there’s another one here.. and here.. ”

Sunday morning, in the woods. Fall has arrived in it’s fullness. Beautiful warm colours everywhere. A dense pack of brown leaves already on the ground, red, yellow and orange leaves on the trees. The sun shining in, with the light filtered.

It has rained a lot, so there are plenty of mushrooms. Continue reading A Chestnut Lesson