Tag Archives: music

A new love affair

I found a new love!

Unexpected, but true.

You see, it often feels there are two ‘me’s. There is the me that is thinking, contemplating, reviewing. And there is the me that just is.

Feelings happen, and these two me’s have a very different way of handling them.

Thinking me uses the feelings as cues for fear, worry, action. The being me knows to stay with the feeling, and meaning might be a result. And action might or might not be needed.

I’ve known for a while that the ‘being me’ is much closer to my core, my soul.

So I have decided it’s time to get out of my way. It is time to love that me completely, setting it center stage.

And it made me burst into this song, out loud, while walking in the forest:

“Only want to be the wind that lifts you high above the ground
Living only to unleash the sacred powers that we’ve found
Only want to breathe your essence, be your comfort, fill with laughter
Every moment that we live from this day on, forever after

I’ll steal your heart and set it free
So free, I’m sure it will astound you
Without my love you’ll never be
In a way, I’ll always find you”

What a beautiful thought, to be the one to set myself free 🙂

And I can just do that.

It reminds me of the Self-marriage, that Dominique Youkhehpaz facilitates. A beautiful ritual to dedicate your life to loving yourself. Just imagine putting as much attention and love towards the relationship with yourself, as you do in the relationship with your significant other.

There is room for me to grow here, this new love is so ready to start blossoming.

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Night time

Being chronically ill brings challenges. Most days are okay. And sometimes life brings big challenges.

My colleagues have been very supportive, but there is a time when being ‘partner’ in a firm is no longer an option. And that is a tough fact to swallow. We are still looking for options and solutions, but it is clear things will have to change.

And this really gets to me. This is my ‘first born’. I put my heart and soul into the business we created over the years, and it is beautiful.

One night, when I found myself unable to sleep, feeling raw with an upcoming flu – and lots of emotion. Continue reading Night time

My Sacred Name

It happened again this morning.

A new habit in the making? Again, I was drumming, finding myself chanting and then being suprised by the Goddess in the words and energy that come up:

“I’m calling over Time

I’m calling over Space

Memeka

I call on you to guide me

Call on you inside me

Memeka”

Again, it felt so rich, so wholesome to be able to do this. To have found this way of expressing myself – even if my conscious mind doesn’t have much say in it.

The lyrics may require some explanation.

Memeka is not my birth name. Continue reading My Sacred Name

Surprised by the Goddess

My drum beckoned me: ‘come and pick me up’.

The day had started, I was going to start working my to do list.

Instead I listened to my drum and picked her up. Her weight felt heavy on my arm. I played a few beats. Adjusted the ropes that set the tension of the skin to get the sound just right. And when I felt that deep sound going through me, resonating within, I  just played.

After a while a rhythme set in, and I felt I had words to come with it, they were almost like a rap: Continue reading Surprised by the Goddess

My drum found me

Never before I felt drawn to drums, djembe’s or rhythme instruments. Playing the violin as I grew up, I’ve always found so much beauty in melody.

When I had earned my first money as a teenager, I bought a stereo system, and sat in my room, glued to the radio. Singing along with hit songs, making mix tapes of my favourites and playing the ones that touched my teenage heart over and over again. Continue reading My drum found me